Long time update

Well hello who ever is reading this. An update on my life since i last posted well a lot has happened. I have gotten my surgery that i was suppose to like a year or two ago my mom had to argue with the doctor on the phone. when he went into my shoulder and did surgery he thanked my mom for actually pushing it because he said if i didn't get that surgery, i would never have stepped on a mat again without getting hurt. i am not going to wrestle this high school year and idk if i will for off season. i am scared and worried. i feel like everyone is pushing me around me to. i really just want to have fun and just focus on jiu jitsu. there is really no need to wrestle at all anymore because i don't want to wrestle in college or anything. even if i wanted to go to Olympics or something like that it would just get in the way of college. i don't want to take time off from college to do something like that and fall behind or don't graduate the same time my class does. Olympics is just a once time thing but college is my career and its more important to me than any gold medal.

Final Essay

Self Determination Theory

I have a lot of self determination in my life or I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have in my sport. It takes a lot of self determination because you body might say it can't but you have to say to your self that you can do it and push through it. How I am going to use this in my project is actually show it in my project. I will show how much self determination you need and will power it takes to do what I do it. It isn't easy and a lot of people think it is.

the interview

The interview wasn't a huge surprise because I have read it for second time so I kind of already had an idea that's what he was going for. To warn us are show us that its really possible.

Sexuality in this World

So everyone knows me and my boyfriend are virgins! I know omg there still is a 16 and 17 year old that has been dating for over two years and still haven't had sex omg it's a rare species!!! Today I just found out everyone thinks Im weird for wanting to wait to have sex till after high school. I think by looking around these days and how many teenagers are getting pregnant just in my school alone, they should probably start thinking how I am. I don't want to be pregnant in high school so best way to prevent that is not having SEX omg I know I must be a genius. So supposibly it's gay for wanting to wait to have sex I don't know why because if you love and respect someone you want show them that and not just have sex right away and my boyfriend gets called gay all the time and I don't think its right. See I sex as something sacred and I'm not a Christian or catholic or some crazy religion that wants you to wait till marriage, I'm just looking towards my future. Anyways we are still growing and getting to know our bodies and I want to make sure I'm making the right choice to have sex and right now I'm not ready to have sex and I don't think anyone my age is. I think everyone feels like want to be mature so they have to have sex, which is not true people! My friends always tell how they wish they didn't do it with this guy or how horrible it was and how awkward it was, has anyone guessed it's because your not ready?!?! Why can't everyone stop trying to grow up so fast it's so insane how much girls wear make up to try to make them selfs look older. Me personally I wear some make up Im not going to lie but I don't wear a lot and most people can't even tell because I wear natural colors. I don't get girls these days they want respect from guys but have you seen some things that girls wear. Shorts now are like underwear, shirts aren't even shirts anymore its more like you get half a shirt for double the price, and girls wear thongs! I have seen like 13 year olds wear tongs personally I don't wear tongs because I don't want a sting up my ass to be truthful for you all. Ok and then girls wear tongs with spandex talk about trashy please. Then don't get me started on swim suits or bikinis. I like the old days were the bottom went past you hip line and the top cover the whole breast and came down onto ribs. Now days it's like a triangle for breast and a string for your hips and butt. It's so hard now days to find a swim for me to feel comfortable in and then still I always feel naked. I just wish girls would have a little more respect for them selfes. Girls also wanted to be treated the same and be know as smart but then turn around and act stupid In front of guys to get attention. People just drive me insane, feel welcome to leave comments :)

The cold stone truth

For everyone reading this is the truth my family is fucked up. I should probably start off with my biologic dad, well he left me when i was about two years old after my mom left after she caught him cheating. My mom side of the family told her to stay with him becuase he could provide for her and she refused. So my biological dad stoped paying for child suport and I havent seen him since then. On my biological dad side it is a line of drug additics and alcohol abuser and all of them are dead for all I know. On my mothers side its just crazy. My aunt dates rich guys marries them and then divorces them for their money, yeah thats surely something to be poud of, not really. Then my aunt always tries to get in fights with my mom saying like her kids are better or something stupid like that. This why I dont like my aunt around for the holiday becuase they are always ready to explode they are like a ticking time bomb you know it is going to explode you just have to try to guess when its going to be. If I say anything like I dont want her over or anything like that I am the bad guy trying to ruin everything which isn't true beause my mom is always grumpy after her sisiter leaves. On my "Step Dad" side its not much better. I call him just my dad because he has been the best father anyone could ever have. But on his family side I do hav a loving unle that just adores me and would do anything for me like get me my first car. My grandparents on the other hand aren't the best they have always treated me badly. I was never really invited to spend a night or spoiled because I was their only grandchild up until I was about eight years old. My first cousin, Bradley, was born. they told people that was their first grandchild they even said that infront of me like I wasnt even there. That instantly pissed my dad off and he said soething to him, but the ironic thing my grandpa was adopted by great grandfather. My great gradfather loved me and I just wished I had more time with him, he passed away when I was around six. He always wanted to see me and spoil me with cookies and jewlery he made because he was a jewlerist. When he died I was suppose to get everything, all the jewls and gold he had but grandparent got ride of the will and sold everthing that was suppose to be mine. Even till today I'm not the first they always just say I'm the oldest. Anyone out there feel free to comment like or whatever.